something's been bugging me over the last few days but i've been waving it off.

*friends come in all shapes and sizes, and in different personalities and characters.
what makes you a better friend to me? -it always takes 2 hands to clap-
you're a friend all the same, we grow, only if we grow together.
but... =ouch=

=) *waves it off...

just a passing thought.

i should say "sorry" to a few of my friends.. i've been so caught up with things....
but i'm happy, my friends, hope u are too.
if not, pls do tell me k!!

friends always stay together.

yours truly,
your friend.

*happiness i've found, and happiness i'll share...

Praise God Almighty, for His love.

it always gets a little more amazing each time.

GAW 06 has ended
Being the bunny was fun, Kit was the tweety bird.
"I think i saw a pussycat"

GAW OC.
It really is a different setting. Being a Freshie, you don't really know what to expect.
I think, at the end of the day, i've throughly enjoyed it.
Whilst friendships weren't exactly very strongly forged.
Yet, it still is a blessing getting to know them. Having that same heart for the needy.
We've made a difference that will last forever.

Reminds me of my childhood a long time back.
I feel a little old.
Lost is my Penchant for mindless fun. For crazy laughter.
My enthusiasm for jumping up and down, or just shouting for nothing has disappeared.
A calm serenity takes over. A quiet silence.
Everything needs meaning these days.

"Growing Up"
It seems rare these days.

A teacher told me how there's a "computer culture" these days.
They're such big distractions.
Those computer games, that WOW, DOTa. Its all about violence isn't it.
Lost is the true culture of talking and meeting face to face and really just experiencing things together. You make friends over the internet these days.
People grow up and still see computer games as such a important part of their lives. They still play it every day, even as they reach middle-age, and perhaps even past that.
Even drinking has gone over the limits; Think "Coke" vs "Water", or beer.
I'm sorry friends, I've grown up....
Might not be the most successful person around, but i'm on my way to God.
Join me. =)

I'm old fashioned i think.
Neighbourhood lifestyle enthuses me,
Family and friends i need.
And i need some purpose in my life; which i have.

Warcraft?
Maybe if it were done with little boys running around with catapults and berries along the streets.

Meta Camp 06'
Can't place it but people just don't seem as "real" this time. I do like real. People should be true to who they really are, no masks, no shadows, no facades.
But yet i thank God for them, for they are people with a life devoted to God. They encourage, and build up many others.

"You'd Think That People Would Have Had Enough Of Silly Love Songs.
But I Look Around Me And I See It Isn't So. "

Its been a busy few days...
Christmas Carolling with JSS
Acqua Outing to JB
Grant A Wish Stuff.

Results.
Well.. results. yeah.
Results. Full Stop.

Thank God For Jesus who sent his Son down on Christmas Day.

"We love because he first loved us"

"The Nazarene had come to live the life of every man
And he felt the fascinations of the stars
As he wandered through this weary world
He wandered and He wep
For there were so few who listened to hid heart

He Came, He saw, He surrendered All
So that we might be born again
And the fact of His humanity was there for all to see
For he was unlike any other man
But yet so much like me."

Thank God for you. For bringing you into my life.
i love you

mistake after mistakes....
=when will it ever end=
stupid me...

"i'm feeling a little distant. "

"i'm feeling a little alone"

i'm oversensitive..
guess i'll continue thinking... looking inside me...
finding out.

"There is a longing, only you can fill
A raging tempest, only you can still
My soul is thirsty Lord, to know You as I'm known
Drink from the river, that flows before Your throne"

signing off...

"Loving you, Is more than just a dream come true...."

=(....
=_(
=_( _
=_( _ _ _
its not enough....


its probably my fault somehow.
i'll really miss you.

SDP754B
So many Memories....

happy ko sing with her P-PLATE!

its been such a day ...
Ko Sing passed her driving test today. =) really happy for her
my car broke down, might have a huge problem this time...
under the torrential downpour of the monsoon....
yet every moment is cherished
i dropped my driving license today.....
bad things happen.. =)
yet i can take strength from many other things.

my friends who patiently waited for me whilst my car was waiting to be towed.
you =), for so much more
God, for everything

miracles do happen, yes....
but there's so much more meaning when they don't.

pray, have faith, i'm okay =)

Day 08th December 06 Saturday

2nd day of GAW.
and Results were out.. for an hour anyway.
didn't do too well..
what am i supposed to do?
some things are out of my control...
i just did what i could... i still got what i got. Thank God.
think a lot of people around me did so much better... thank God again.
and they tell me the same thing my jc classmates used to tell me when i was struggling.
"just try harder..." everyone's so good at studying now.
heh. one big "HEH" for you guys.... *shakes head*
it could be the passion in what i'm studying that is lacking so much.. maybe that hinders me.
somehow, academics have fallen out of my life... don't understand why.
i used to be good at it.. well, a long time ago in primary school...
now.. *laughs at myself*
it doesn't really matter i guess, i just keep trying.
"the day i give up is the day i've failed... "

don't know if i'm happy.. or really troubled, and even so; by what.
had a really uneasy night yesterday.....
think i didn't sleep much.. it was bad dream after bad dream after bad dream...
had to pray to go and sleep..
prayer does work wonders... =)

i hope i don't disappoint anyone...
esp you..
if i had one wish, it'd be that i'd be a little more perfect for you.
come back soon k... i miss you.

Day 07 15th December 06 Friday

Also known as GAW 06 External Drive Day 1
And i'm not manning any booth! i'm manning my house. Been putting myself to good use and answering phone calls of all the donors though!
So today, "wish cell" people will be staying over at my house... We'll be counting gifts.
Apparently, i'm not the only one that feels what i feel about GAW....
In fact, i think.. there's differing perspectives up there... among the upper tier.
which explains a lot... why i'm feeling this way too!
the after effects of what goes up among the higher echelons of our GAW Command Structure.
it all just filters down somehow.
haha.. oh well =) we're all grown up now, we can work together even despite differing views.
Just need everyone to grow up so we don't have all this cropping up again.

On another note,
I think i seem kind of happy...
=)
Well.. thats because its Day 07 already!
And well... Day 09 is reaching.. and i'm looking forward to that day so much.....
i'm getting excited, like a little kid.....
i'm smiling more and more each day...
time seems to be passing faster...

If i could metaphorise it....

Its like a tunnel, at the start of your tunnel, in darkness, u see the little light at the end of the tunnel.. It seems so far away... As you near the end of the tunnel, the light gets so much brighter, and bigger... and you feel its so reachable. And soon you'll be out of the darkness again.... basking in the warm sunlight... =) i do miss the sunlight so much...

Coming to the end of Day 07.....
Its almost Day 08!
*j-o-y and its down in my heart... deep deep down in my heart*

"When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing Your pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in Lord
Still I will say..

Blesed be the name of the Lord"

Pray without ceasing.- 1 Thessalonians 5:17

Day 06 14th December 06 Thursday

GAW is giving me a headache
My EV course is giving me a headache too....

GAW is just too time-consuming... we do so much background work, and so little comm service, it kinda bugs me.
MY EV Course is just too unpredictable, things keep changing, i don't really know what i need to study anymore.... i have PC1432?! haha.. *faints

and my timetable is practically 10-6pm again!
guess i'm just as busy as everyone else.. going to be even tougher than last semester.

sigh okay... i don't even know what to take next sem.
too much trouble to go change class to D07 again, so shall just happily switch tutorial groups on my own.
why is uni so much trouble?
Its so hard to do what you want to do, cos some combinations just don't work out either...
its kinda depressing, just stressing over all these unimportant issues.

okay GAW starts tomorrow.....
wherever you are, i'll be right there with you.
with you, all the time.. and patiently missing you...

Day 05 13th December 06 Wednesday

Today..
been a meaningful day, did up the front of the photo album.. =)
i'm quite happy with it... hope you like it too...

i watched "the omen" the original version.
Really sinister... yet it didn't have e devilish charms lingering around it like "the exorcist" did.
Rather, it seemed interesting... especially the part about the anti-trinity....
satan himself, the false prophet and the anti-christ.
I like God, Jesus and the Holy Ghost much better, thank you.
It just reminds you how we're in such a battle between good and evil all the time.
Which side do u stand on?
That there are truly apostates of the devil in our midst, is really quite a spine-chilling prospect.
We have nothing to fear though, the light always pierces through the darkness...
i'm on God's side, all dressed up in his armour.

having soccer later...
not many of us, so many of them are away, some have found new soccer buddies.

another day has passed....
every single day, i'll wonder how you are.. if you're fine, whether you're feeling well, whether you're having fun. just brings a smile =)
it distracts me from a whole load of other things like "grant a wish", work and all that....
but it makes me happier, and it always encourages me to do everything a little better...

just waiting, just patiently waiting.
in between, a prayer for tim.. cheer up k.

soccer is over, and soccer was good. i stubbed my toe!
ouch. well but a little bit of sacrifice to make a few saving tackles was well worth it.
for the love of the game.
anyway, we were so tired, we came to the conclusion "we're getting old"
over dinner, we ate at this coffee shop version of Carl's Jnr called Botak Jones, now i know where it is, its ex, and its way too much for anyone to finish, esp if you order the double.
so what do guys end up talking about? its quite funny... well what they all said.
haha but well... i think i kept quite silent most of the time.
just silently thinking of you. i like it that way. =) miss you.

Day 04 12th December 06 Tuesday

I just opened my mailbox.... =)
received 2 christmas cards, and a letter.... i'm really touched....
i really got nothing to say... i'm very very happy...
its the most meaningful thing i've gotton in a long long time..

in school now.... later got briefing.
later going to watch "deja vu" with winnie, ko sing and jia jia...
can't wait...
really miss you.... there's no one else that means as much to me as u do.

well its all over now... its been quite a day for me....
GAW briefing went well.. the powerpt was really put to the test, and underwent so many changes. Deja Vu was okay... didn't really spend a lot of quality time with them though, think they talked about almost everything by the time i got there.. but they really enjoyed Kushinbo so i'm quite happy about that..! they didn't eat much though.. pity. especially the sushi!
well we eat to live, not live to eat....
had a few troubling thoughts on the way home.
sometimes i just wish u were here so i could tell u all about it....
i love you... come back soon =) u're the only person i can fully trust with every single thought.
its okay though, know i'm never alone. God always works things out =)
it seems that ching yet has made it his personal task to bring me up into my purpose. He personally keeps track of me each and every week. i'm truly touched. i believe its going to make a difference in my life. its amazing... it really is.

I love God
hope you're having fun! and that u're well.....

Day 03 11th December 06

Its been a short and straightforward day so far....
been watching movies... there's this chinese one called the "sound of colours"
and its really sweet... Been doing my grant a wish stuff as well...
Parents coming back later in the afternoon... guess i can't really wait to see them return.
Going out w/ Winnie, Ko Sing, Jia Jia tomorrow to watch Deja Vu! they're gonna eat kushinbo..
yums... but i got briefing tomorrow so i can't make it for lunch.
today.... i just had 2 passing thoughts...
1 is "you just don't understand" 2nd one is "Why do we close our eyes?"
Know it doesn't really make sense to any of you, except me... well they are very very specific thoughts.... =) but its no big deal either. Thoughts are thoughts, they might be meaningful one day.
Quite happy with my GAW Briefing Slides... think its much nicer that the first one i did for internal drive... Spent more effort into this one too, i guess. All the changes bug me though, but i know everyone just wants to make it better... Yet in so many cases, people's viewpoints are usually their own. i realise how many people misinterpret things... or they assume, or well... they just look at it their own way.. and thus my first thought, to the "common" (general) person (and to me too)... "you just don't understand."
My second thought perhaps... just really was more of a question that was answered.
"Why do we close our eyes?" Because we want to fully experience the pleasure of things...
And i just tell myself... that even now, i'm closing my eyes... just thinking of you... its wonderful, it brings a smile to my face.... hope you're enjoying yourself =) i miss you.

God answers prayers. He's always there, and its nice to be able to tell myself to just let go... that even if i fail in so many other people's eyes, in his eyes, as long as i take up the cross and follow Him, living according to his ways and his will... he'll make it all work out. I'll do my best for Him each time. God loves us.. much more than we can even imagine.

And "Air Bud wins again" Why do these shows always tug at our heart-strings?
inside all of us, love is indeed more important.

Day 02 10th December 06 Sunday

Today, woke up....
things went pretty fast.... its already 1pm.. sitting here in church blogging.
the same things fill my mind all day....
church was good.. JSS... i was the only teacher around at the start, and the teacher supposed to prepare worship didn't prepare it...
i had to come up with one on the spot. =( think it was so rush... the children seemed quite sleepy... but well, with God's presence... i think i was pretty proud of how they sang, some of them really sang their hearts out, despite not having the piano music at times.
class was great though, and erica prayed and thanked God for such a fun lesson. I think they really learnt a lot today, about Nehemiah. Thank God...
Waiting in church now... just missing you.
Thinking of what you're doing, hoping you're having lots of fun...
Carolling was okay. Had this little boy with a little bit of attitude, and he spoilt most of our moods. Sigh, its sad when they just see the world revolving around them, and have no concern for anyone else. Its sad. it really is.
Have a wedding dinner later, with my sis. So, will reach home really late....
Just praying for you... hope you're well =)
God is with us.. he'll carry us through...

"the prodigal son has returned? =) pleased to hear that.. "

Day 01 09th Decemeber 2006

i miss you.
just wish you're around! sent u a msg though i know u weren't there.
but you'll see it when you return... it just seems right to message you when i'm thinking about something. u're always there =)
well... i went to meet my church people for dinner... it was quite nice. cosy little pot-luckish dinner at someone's house... kept thinking of you on the plane though.. wondering how you were doing.
going to be quite busy with GAW stuff this week... feels good that i'm doing something for the less wealthy. we should always do our part in terms of giving, and helping.
its quite late already, feel like sleeping early these days, have a long day tomorrow.
church! i'm doing lesson, after that there's carolling practice. have a break in between before wedding dinner.. its Aunt Betty's son's wedding. (She's from Sheares Hall, an ol time family friend of almost 10 years. She's still there. And i'm going because she's been an angel to all of us. I remember her giving me a rabbit. =) ). Then by the time i'm home, guess its almost time to pray and sleep.
Know that i'm with you, and you're with me, no matter where we are... and Somehow i can feel it.... an assurance that quietly settles in..... =) but yet... i still miss you so much... and that won't change... but we'll continue to grow through every little/big experience we have...

so well, that was ubin =)
and those are my classmates and friends.

=) God, i'm so thankful for them.

bye ubin! 

ubin seafood part 2. 

ubin seafood part 1. coconuts costs $1.50 

wee and me... bye wee!

 

welcome to ubin 06.

 

thats winnie and ko sing!

 

Jia jia, ko sing, patryce, me and winnie thats taking the pic!

well.. feel like writing about these wonderful friends here...
lets start with winnie who is taking the picture. (and thus not inside)

winnie
winnie the pooh bear and her super super "hyper" and bubbly nature.
she's actually really friendly... really nice, despite her grouses (haha) ,
but ya, once u get used to her "high" expectations, she's really such a wonderful friend too...
somehow i think she doesn't open up that easily.. but the more of her (the nei4 zai4 mei3 part) you see.... you really see a lot of positives! she's really funny, and well.. tonnes of fun. she's the life of the conversation!

jia jia
jia jia is like one of the nicest, and most loyal girls i think u would ever find. really someone that probably never ever thinks about herself. really.. can testify to that. she's absolutely wonderful.. she's extremely down to earth.... but yet she's e sparkles of many sparkles. she'll always be there for you... u'd really appreciate someone like her.

ko sing
ko sing is a friend that will give u the best advice ever, she's really sensible. its kinda amazing how i got to be friends with her, and got to know her better, and become her best guy friend (buddy), even despite me not being able to speak chinese very well. she's a friend that dotes on you. i'd dote on her too... she really appreciates her friends around her. well i really appreciate her too, cos she won't ever forget what friendship means .... she's really forgiving and understanding. even when we don't deserve it.

patryce
patryce. well... she's way blur. takes time to open up to guys especially, but, she's adorable.
haha i personally would say she's like a penguin. she waddles around from place to place. oblivious to the surroundings at times. i'm not that close to her yet cos she doesn't tell me much! but its a start! hope she opens up more cos, she's really nice too.

these friends will last a really long time.
i know perhaps i don't fit in totally, cos they're all girls, cos they speak more chinese than me, and maybe a lot of other reasons. but.. they're e best friends ever.. they make being yourself , so easy. i really can't say i've ever appreciated a group of friends more than them... despite all our differences, everything is just so nice.




 

ubin 2006 =) such wonderful times, what a wonderful group of friends i have... really tearing... so thankful. so happy.

 

motorshow 2006... cute car... so retro... =) pleasantville anyone

 

hmm.. just feel like writing =)
its been a really nice day, been letting myself go a little, get a little carried away.
now though, guess i really miss the company....
its like... when u have it, u don't truly realise u have it until u don't have it.
but am i thankful....

really God loves in so many ways.
think i'm getting a tiny weeny little bit selfish at times.
trying very hard to curb that. =)
u must get carried away with the right things, and not the wrong things

think its going to be a really long week for me
don't really know what i'm gonna do.....
guess i'll use it as a time for self-reflection, to look back at the past year and account for what i've done.
and perhaps re-establish my new year resolutions... its been really wonderful each time i do it.
duno why i'm truly feeling a little lonely right now... its not even time yet.
think my mind is wandering again...

well... ubin photos =) guess that'll take my mind of stuff for a while.

"its a happy day, and i thank God for the weather"
The moon was really round today, and there were glimpses of stars.

Acqua outing was good, was so nice to see Ryan especially; after so long.
It was nice to talk to Jie Ren too... seems that though its been so long, we haven't lose any of that natural chemistry.. think he's a great conversationalist, someone thats really sincere. appreciate that.


e highlight was you though. it always is.

its a special day.
in a very special way.
six thousand, one hundred and twenty-six.

smiles....
me and my sad smiles.

its a really really fun day.. =)
my friend likes my new friends.. really....
he told me how nice they are, how wonderful they are, after just one day =)
and i feel so happy, feel so blessed.... i don't deserve such good things in my life
really... God is wonderful....

i realise i can't sing chinese songs for nuts... i don't know why...
okay well i got this hunch why.. =(
well its okay, i make a lot of mistakes i know.....
haha i can't even read the entire lyrics of any chinese song ....
i just can't sing like them.... -respect-
well jia jia is really such a good singer. i'm in awe..
God. really. thank you. for all these wonderful people in my life.
i hope i never let them down.
i hope i never let you down either.

sometimes differences don't split you apart, but they bring you together.
=)

=) its so nice to wake up after a dream...
its so nice to just wake up thinking of you.

today, went to fix my car...
my back left brake bulb had burst!
my engine oil, my auto transmission fluid was pretty off-colour,
my tyres were worn...
every single day, i learn a little bit more about my car,
and every single day i grow a little bit more sensitive to my car.
talk about sentiments... =) people lose their dog and feel sad.
i'm gonna lose my car and feel sad.. its been through thick and thin with me
i feel it has been such a give and take relationship... and it seems to cry when it feels sad.
my car has feelings! lots of it...
when its feeling cold, it vibrates, when its tired, its brakes creak,
when its sick, it coughs, when its happy, its symphonic,
when its sad... its purrs.....

i don't dream about my car though..
dreams are specially for you...

exams are over!!

=) i am smiling so brightly right now...
finally.... after 6 months of working, i finally have a month of break.
its called... "relief"

and all the plans we have in store!
i'm so looking forward....

int main(void)
{
for (days = 0; days < 7; days++)
study hard;
if(exams over)
thank god;

return books;
}

this will be an entry dedicated to you...

to you, whom i give my heart to...

you, who have been in my dreams...

the wish i've always wished for...

the miracle in my life =)

i can't say how important you are to me.
i can't say i won't miss u today.
but i'll love you forever,
treat u well forever,
and bring you happiness,
and everything i have, i give to you.

i want to live my life with you and with God..
together, in true love, and true happiness....

i want to do all i can for you, be there whenever u need me,
know u better than u know urself, love u more than anyone could.
i want the world to know i've found u... =)

u've been such a blessing to me....
a dream come true, people always say they can never find the one of their dreams,
but i have. and i'm so thankful.
love truly comes from God, just like you have.
i commit everything to God, for everything is from Him.
and in faith, hope and love.. we'll walk the walk together,
continually growing, living the plan he has set for us.

its not about me... =) its about God.
and now, my life is about you as well, dear.

cheer up, dear. cos i'll always be with you.
have strength, have faith
You. Me. God. =)
together, we'll make a difference, together we'll make it work.

in love =)

this exams... i've been really really careless for every paper, making mistakes along the way i could have avoided.
i could say there wasn't enough time, thus i did faster than a pace i'm comfortable at,
and made all the little mistakes..
oh well, no pt crying over spilt milk... cos u just have to clean up the mess and move on.
i shall try to be more careful for my last paper which really needs me to be.
=)
everyone strive on... =)