Mr Frederick R. Sabapathy left earth today. He left behind a legacy of inspiring memories, with his wife.
And i thought to myself... He was a great man, and he'd be happy to see how many he has touched and inspired; not just to be successful servants of God, but loving people.
Whilst i might not have been close to him, his motivation to be a God-centered man truly amazes. I respect and admire what he has done for his wife as well, through thick or thin, always enjoying, always loving her. I want to do the same for my dearest.
I have my shortcomings, and perhaps i might not be as docile and sweet a man as Mr Fred once was, but i'll continue trying my best and working towards that attitude he carried. I too, want to continue not just his legacy, but God's purpose for him and for me; something we share in common. An outstanding role model for me to follow, encapsulated in his death today, i will forever remember him and his wife "Matron" (Patricia) just as she said she'll always remember me, the "commando" in her eyes (through the days i went to alpha to lead in my army uniform), and charged me to always serve God in my own ways. Thank you Mr Fred, you're one of the founders of my church, Bethesda Frankel Estate Church, and i am happy you're in heaven right now.

On a separate note, my dear has been struggling through her exams over the last few weeks, and her papers have been hard, and her time short. I just pray and want to post a note of encouragement here for her. Darling... i am with you. keep going and lets live that life pleasing to God, not just to succeed but to share His love with all those around. Its one more day for you, and we've come so far, even though its just one semester. Look forward, not just to tomorrow but to the days of salvation and when we will reach heaven. I will stay by your side always, and i want to see you through till the day you'll reach his almighty kingdom. With you darling, always. =) i know you might not see this now, but i always love you, and i'll try my best to always show it and make it known. your dearest... =)

i just wish i were right sometimes
and so many people wouldn't see me as wrong.
sorry everyone.
i am true to my heart, and i'll always be true to God.
i will walk away one day, in my heart, faultless.
in your eyes, a sinner.
but i am true to God and to what he impresses in my heart.
i'm different
i'm a deviant.
but i'm e deviant towards God.

i always wonder.
ALWAYS.
Why won't God help when it matters so much.
Why he allows the most impossible thing happen, that we might suffer.
its God. it truly is.
but i will always remember.
that it all doesn't matter.
what matters cannot be measured.

we are all false preachers of his word.
we all fall short of his purpose.
Singapore is doomed the minute we allow ourselves to embrace the world.
i am doomed.
i shall go to hell some day.
and know it was because i didn't have enough courage to stand up.

sigh.
u know life is always unfair.
it always is
the good people who helps everyone else never does well because no one really helps her in return.
u know... sometimes you can do so much, yet achieve so little.
sigh.
maybe we're all fools chasing after perfection.
sigh i'm mean
and i don't wanna study anymore.
i want to get away from all this unfairness

Soci, the way of seeing.
Truly. Everyone sees things their one way, me included.
And thats the beauty of it, Sociology does not have any particular way of seeing things.
U imagine, U link, U create.
Thats it, thats sociology.
Oh yes, it might be dull and demoralising if what you see is just something someone else has seen before and really, its nothing new. But thats the beauty. You see it, and you Must See more.

u look through the smallest of cracks, and yet you can see the whole world.
and i promised my darling a present this small --> .
haha =) it could be so dense. expansion is always a real possibility.
yet we cannot lose sight of the dot. *laughs

Anyway i need prayers for my EG1109 Statics module because i've been really doing quite badly, and i just ask for prayers to help me get a decent grade.
Besides that.

Gd luck and God bless to u all taking ur exams.
"Hold on firmly to all thatn will last forever, and not material wealth."
Like. Friendships =)
and people you love.
i love my darling so so much.. so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much.

Heaven is waiting for us.

its almost the end of sem 2....
you know exams are coming......
and you really start to worry...

=( *s-i-g-h.

you know, really, thank God for everything.
For the subjects i do well in, i just have to thank him for giving me such a wonderful brain.
really, i'm blessed
though, maybe compared to so many out there, it might not be the best,
but its good. it always is.
even though, i might fail some things, but i know, he'll provide a way for me.

i've worked hard this sem, probably harder than i've ever worked before.
but i didn't do it for myself, and i'm happy and proud to say that

For my darling :
I love you. I might not be the most successful or smartest engineer or guy out there.
I might not provide u with diamond rings, or shopping sprees.
I might try so hard, yet be unable to find a good job to support you.
I might not be the best boyfriend, or even hubby.
but i love you. i always will, and to me, you're always above all those things,
even above me. and all i have, i give to you.
M.A.D
Matthias and Davina.

i hope i'll be of some use, somehow.