be more assertive

be more assertive, he says....
well.... okay i am being more assertive now, but just in the USA.
yeah... God showed me a little bit of reaping what u sow in the casino yesterday...
as my brother/sister/dad/mum went in to gamble.. i went in too.... yup i'm finally 21.
so they all gambled and they all lost...
-flashback-
earlier in the day... no one wanted to pay the poor waitress' tip, so i took out $10 to give to her.
okay back to the present. yeah i actually got back $20 in the end....
and my mum is a compulsive gambler. she actually sits in her chair, looking possessed, rotating the seat... slowly rocking it from left to right. the way she presses the buttons is mysteriously patterned.... while my sister goes on about how she didn't lose.... what a day. when money comes into play.. thats what happens. yes i'm never going to be a gd businessman, i shun it, i don't like it very much... whats the whole fuss about money anyway...
so anyway, we're really rushing about a whole lot... really really rushing. its kinda because my dad was the top rated officer of his days,... and their rush to wait and wait to rush motto is really personified by him, in the most frustrating manner. imagine flying from state to state.. every 2 days.. its really taxing. plus since he always wants to be early. imagine going to the airport 2 hours earlier just to wait for a hour and a half flight... then taking another taxi for about 45 minutes to the next destination. yeahh =) i do that every 2 days...
sigh anyway i was really thinking how quiet i've become.. i sit in the metro train... listening to my entire family. most of the time i'm silent... in all honest opinion. i have not been more assertive at all.. i kinda feel that perhaps everyone should just give a little bit, and everyone ends up happier.. all for the good of everyone =) ... well and my dad didn't give the driver a tip.. was quite disappointed and felt quite sad for the driver, cos thats his bread and butter, and he really took a lot of trouble to open the doors, give us a little commentary and tour... and help us out of the van....
different principles, different values...
does that make us different as children of god?
when we all follow the same word of God...
i can only sigh... but i look at myself and at all my flaws as well and know that i'mnot perfect. and i cannot judge others bcos i know not what they're thinking.. and we all continue to struggle with our own imperfections as well as their imperfections.. and in the end. we all have to look at the good in people....
and well stepping onto that plane... gives u a huge lift... like stepping onto a cloud and flying off into the heavens.... bcos u're leaving behind all ur cares, and u seem to be starting afresh. and sometimes u wish u never had to come back. yet u miss home a little too much. u miss the pleasant memories and the lovely friends =)