19 days

19 days of being in the USA.
with approximately 40 hours spent in the air... wonder why i do it.
this trip doesn't have much significance for me, besides my brother's graduation.
just like the upcoming camp doesn't seem to have much significance for me.
i guess "whats the pt" really strikes it where its hot.
whats e point of going on a trip??
whats e point of going to camp??
whats e point of.. so many other things.
i shall not venture into philophical statements right now... they just end up in circles.
and we just marvel at our lack of understanding for our own understanding.

as my friend goes about accounting the years, reliving the experiences of his life.. i begin to think about mine as well .
but i can't...
because its just so long, so many memories, so much hurt, and joy. so many people, so many things...
and i gave up, because they have all passed. and we live a life born anew.
For i am a child of God. And someone whom through he works.
If God makes u a blessing, u'd be a blessing....
and sometimes u might feel he's asking you to give yourself up to others.
and u do, because he is God. and there is no better explanation than that.
and everything just ends up there... up there.
for the 100 years of your life - if you ever reach there-
and u ask.. what is the point of it all? and only you would know. thats faith right.

the gauntlet is there right in front of us.........
the rewards are right there above us.....
look past your life. look within yourself.

and these are the idealistic truths that i cloak my life with.
and i ask what's the point... whats the point of being idealistic?
and i just keep quiet. silent. because u have to find it yourself....

these are memoirs of another kind.

"i would just move on with my life and go where God leads me. How much can i resist his plan for me, if i so much believe in it. I shall make decisions without any fear, and live my life without any regrets. because if i don't, what faith do i have?" -Me

and i stare into space and wonder.