accept him! tts him!

all my blog posts are coming late.. not bcos i didn't write them...
but more because i can't access a stable internet service network...
so like i always have to wait a while till i can access the internet and post it.

yeahh i kinda miss typing... thinking now.. i feel quite brainless now...
just today was listening to my mum, her sis and my bro in the other room talking about relationships
yes thats what people still talk about then they get old...
not sure if they knew if i could hear anything they said.. but i did anyway..
haha.. not because i meant to. just that because they were so loud.
anyway i really miss singapore.. US is great, but the people aren't that great.
they aren't like the continentals. the continentals are nice Americans. here they're a little bit more dao
and u feel a bit out of place, being a Singaporean/ Asian in a place such as this..
but people are very very pretty...
but oh well..
"she should marry an angmoh guy"
yes all my relatives, are mostly overseas. esp on my mum's side
one has a vietnamese gf, 2 have angmoh bfs, 1 has a mexican bf who speaks spanish, chinese and english
1 has an angmoh gf. haha.. and so on...
well anyway following on their with conversation..
yup they believe how boys in Singapore are so fussy...
haha. my brother has so many gfs in America. All kinds.
don't know what he's up to also. the last one he had was really shady.
like.. loose? obviously not serious.
anyway yeah they all were talking.. a lot about all of this...
so anyway yeah i miss talking to people.. i need more people to talk to here.
debs! haha.. hey... can't wait to get back. you can definitely Rant to me.. i think i need it after such a long absence
oh well.. miss army days where there always was people to talk to
well.. anyway my beloved Cleveland are out of the NBa playoffs.
nvm. world cup coming.
anyway its back to feeling old
yes i feel really really old and i don't know why.
well... most of my family still think i'm really young and all that bcos i was always the youngest...
but... i really feel old... and like i'm much more mature than they all think
just that i choose to keep quiet becos its hard to change people's mindsets.
at the end of the day. they will see it... and perhaps understand me a little better
for now.. perhaps i'll always be e small one in e family. it comes bcos i have an older bro
so... yeah they'll tend to look to your older brother bcos they're used to it.. always forgetting
little ol' me. but thats how things work out.. how its meant to be. its hard to change something like that

perhaps on another note...
everyone realises how my parents really dote on my eldest brother so much.
in a way.. i believe that when everyone gets older... me and my sister lose more and more
respect for both of them, yet my brother retains so much of it. i guess favourtism hits everyone hard
perhaps i'm a little bit "can't be bothered" in that aspect. i believe in the.. i live my own life....
perhaps God has made things happen in a certain way, but its my life, as long as i live it according to
the right principles and values, its fine. i don't need to be the richest, the most fAVoured. that doesn't matter does it.?
but my brother lavishes in all of that... and thats a big reason why my sister and I are actually more independent.
we learnt to live more on our own. my sis moved out.. partly cos of that reason. if my dad has any anger issues..
he always takes it out on me and my sis... he doesn't shout at my brother much. even if he does
he cools really quickly.. he just doesn't use him as a punching bag like he does e rest of us... but thats how everything is meant to be
once again.. and well =) sometimes u just live by faith alone and know that..
yes.. its e best for u
SIGH.

to those who are given much, much is expected from them.
i really feel old, alone, neglected.
oh friends oh friends! how i wish u were here.
my sis loves her friends more than her family... i'm starting to understand her a little more
its taken a really long time.. but through differences we grow, and through similarities we stand strong.

=FAMILY=

we live by the moments, aware of what we are in now, and not what is to come.

a quote " thats him... u just have to accept him"