heyyy mr chan's son

i just watch from my window..
as the touch rug girls play their rugby... haha i don't think they notice me.
should i say hi? or should i not. when they come nearer my window i suppose.
yes, shall just leave it to that.
just looking right a little, i see mr chan's son joking... laughing, spinning has hp...
seems like he's having fun with 2 other guy friends with him... he's so much unlike mr chan, he seems the confident, can't care less, bo chup attitude kinda guy... his dark shaded eyebrows really accentuate that smirk he has on his face.
so i just sit here and wonder what i'm doing, sitting in my room, one moment watching the tele, one moment thinking and dreaming of what life would become for me, or typing this, or observing the world around me.
its not that life is meaningless, its just that i haven't fulfilled the one thing i want to fulfill in my life. or well.. there are certain things that i want that i have not gotton, things that money can't buy. as everyday goes by though, i feel that i might be edging closer.
things feel a little bit confusing, as i can't see the plan God has ahead for me. not in all aspects. he has carefully shaded parts of my life... hiding away from my keen senses... i do have the feeling of his guidance all the time, once in a while, i even get a glimpse into what i'm mean to do and become. but... somethings i want to see... and when will he let me ever discover it?

sometimes... i really hope that the time has come.