90 minutes to heaven..
its actually a book i'm reading... of how this guy came back to life after dying...
decided to relook back at today.
aaron said how when we look forward nothing is clear, yet when we look back, its always perfect 6/6 vision. not true. i've looked back upon today as a day where perhaps i wish things were less real.... but everything is so blurred, and u'll never be able to fully see the world for who they really. just as the serpent. can u see through his tricks?
today reynard came to church. i don't feel like talking to xinyi at all these days... seems a little distant. in fact my old cell seems distant. lost is the previous camaraderie we once had. its like they've made the cell what they want it to be.... and its so different. and its unlike what i always saw it as. think its a victim of circumstance. anyway out of everyone, half are new, half are old. once again i hate change. just reading woo's blog on his 4 friends makes me wonder where my guy friends all went to. actually some of them are still around and present, just that i kinda lost trust in them. haven't met a really nice guy lately. cho seems the most likely bet. (excluding reynard too; but then again, when guys get a gf, there they go! *wooshhh* into orbit) - i'm not saying i won't be the same - so anyway reynard came, we sat in for 2nd service worship, then we left for my JSS class... he saw a glimpse of them. they are so so noisy, esp that japher who talks non-stop. yet u know he actually listens. despite all his nonsense. and i refrain from scolding him cos u never fight fire with fire. so keep on dousing, though i think almost everyone else keeps encouraging me to shut him up. today. i tried to observe them more than teach. today, a debate practically sprang up. i hope they listened. i always encourage discussion yet, he asked.. "how do we know God is true?" my students are facing issues. the girls are fine, but the guys are going through the " i can use my intellect and rely more on my logic and brains than i do on God. i believe because it makes sense." well i hope the gist of the whole issue really went in... we believe because we feel him.
and thats the whole point. what makes the difference between a devout christian and one that just comes to church. his faith.
anyway yeah tts my jss class. i think i'm really breaking through to them. on my own terms and on my own grounds with my own style, all wonderfully God-given. i'm different from every other teacher and yet i hope and pray that these kids that i've taught will forever remember the things i've taught =) how do u know u're making a difference? because it shows. in so many ways.. from the "i pray everyday" (in such a enthusiastic manner ) to the "cos God really loves me and i've experienced him" how many of u can say u've experienced God at such a young age.. its rare, we don't understand the concept of him at such a young age.. yet it happens, and its nothing short of a miracle =).
well today Christopher even wished me happy birthday. =)
my bright shining light, the one that faces adversity with such courage.
which brings me to the lunch. it was good i guess. really touched by some things my mum said. yet more things bothered me about the lunch than all that. sigh once again i emphasise how people that meant so much to me weren't there... and today i really wonder how maybe there were just one person for me to live and be with my entire life. i wouldn't have to worry about friendships.. i wouldn't have to get sad when friends seem to forsake u, i wouldn't have to get disheartened by people who have grown distant. i wouldn't have to be jaded by people i don't relaly know, and i wouldn't face issues about the world. about people in the world.
golly, don't u see how much i want u. i'm so imperfect yet. and thats why i'm finding it so hard to live here. u know, its things liek thsi that actually mean much more to u that u go through and always get disappointed and let down. while i make others happy, who makes me happy?
i guess, all these has resulted in me becoming closer to God, and always focusing on him as the one who's always there, who's never missing in my life. his perfect long-suffering plan for me. fruit of the spirit? ya i guess so. in other ways, i'm too much of a thinker, an emotional hazard. so perhaps the fault lies with me. yet if its what i'm supposed to be, in god's mysterious plan, what can i do?! be special?!
anyway gave woo a bible. think perhaps perhaps....
u never know, it has to start from somewhere... everyone's journey has to have a beginnning....
hope he finds it.
90 minutes to heaven?
being closer to death is more enticing that one to the shore.
yet what if life returns to haunt u....
not life in heaven when beauty abounds,
but life on earth,
where the serpent runs free
and God comes in many shapes and sizes.
living the imperfect life of an imperfect man in this imperfect world
is so hard....
yet we never give up.
decided to relook back at today.
aaron said how when we look forward nothing is clear, yet when we look back, its always perfect 6/6 vision. not true. i've looked back upon today as a day where perhaps i wish things were less real.... but everything is so blurred, and u'll never be able to fully see the world for who they really. just as the serpent. can u see through his tricks?
today reynard came to church. i don't feel like talking to xinyi at all these days... seems a little distant. in fact my old cell seems distant. lost is the previous camaraderie we once had. its like they've made the cell what they want it to be.... and its so different. and its unlike what i always saw it as. think its a victim of circumstance. anyway out of everyone, half are new, half are old. once again i hate change. just reading woo's blog on his 4 friends makes me wonder where my guy friends all went to. actually some of them are still around and present, just that i kinda lost trust in them. haven't met a really nice guy lately. cho seems the most likely bet. (excluding reynard too; but then again, when guys get a gf, there they go! *wooshhh* into orbit) - i'm not saying i won't be the same - so anyway reynard came, we sat in for 2nd service worship, then we left for my JSS class... he saw a glimpse of them. they are so so noisy, esp that japher who talks non-stop. yet u know he actually listens. despite all his nonsense. and i refrain from scolding him cos u never fight fire with fire. so keep on dousing, though i think almost everyone else keeps encouraging me to shut him up. today. i tried to observe them more than teach. today, a debate practically sprang up. i hope they listened. i always encourage discussion yet, he asked.. "how do we know God is true?" my students are facing issues. the girls are fine, but the guys are going through the " i can use my intellect and rely more on my logic and brains than i do on God. i believe because it makes sense." well i hope the gist of the whole issue really went in... we believe because we feel him.
and thats the whole point. what makes the difference between a devout christian and one that just comes to church. his faith.
anyway yeah tts my jss class. i think i'm really breaking through to them. on my own terms and on my own grounds with my own style, all wonderfully God-given. i'm different from every other teacher and yet i hope and pray that these kids that i've taught will forever remember the things i've taught =) how do u know u're making a difference? because it shows. in so many ways.. from the "i pray everyday" (in such a enthusiastic manner ) to the "cos God really loves me and i've experienced him" how many of u can say u've experienced God at such a young age.. its rare, we don't understand the concept of him at such a young age.. yet it happens, and its nothing short of a miracle =).
well today Christopher even wished me happy birthday. =)
my bright shining light, the one that faces adversity with such courage.
which brings me to the lunch. it was good i guess. really touched by some things my mum said. yet more things bothered me about the lunch than all that. sigh once again i emphasise how people that meant so much to me weren't there... and today i really wonder how maybe there were just one person for me to live and be with my entire life. i wouldn't have to worry about friendships.. i wouldn't have to get sad when friends seem to forsake u, i wouldn't have to get disheartened by people who have grown distant. i wouldn't have to be jaded by people i don't relaly know, and i wouldn't face issues about the world. about people in the world.
golly, don't u see how much i want u. i'm so imperfect yet. and thats why i'm finding it so hard to live here. u know, its things liek thsi that actually mean much more to u that u go through and always get disappointed and let down. while i make others happy, who makes me happy?
i guess, all these has resulted in me becoming closer to God, and always focusing on him as the one who's always there, who's never missing in my life. his perfect long-suffering plan for me. fruit of the spirit? ya i guess so. in other ways, i'm too much of a thinker, an emotional hazard. so perhaps the fault lies with me. yet if its what i'm supposed to be, in god's mysterious plan, what can i do?! be special?!
anyway gave woo a bible. think perhaps perhaps....
u never know, it has to start from somewhere... everyone's journey has to have a beginnning....
hope he finds it.
90 minutes to heaven?
being closer to death is more enticing that one to the shore.
yet what if life returns to haunt u....
not life in heaven when beauty abounds,
but life on earth,
where the serpent runs free
and God comes in many shapes and sizes.
living the imperfect life of an imperfect man in this imperfect world
is so hard....
yet we never give up.
posted by Matthias | 7:03 AM
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