guys n girls
guys and girls, my social life is MAXXING out right now
having tonnes of fun, realising i dunned people that dun really bother tt much about me. when i have those that do!! i've heard many problems in e last week, and i'm glad i'm a part of my friend's life.... there's been nothing more special in my life that sharing my life and others sharing their lives with me.
to you woo, thanks for sharing w/ me that secret, u know waht i mean i say its a secret so that it remains anonymous to what it is. to tim, thanks for treating me to dinner.. really appreciate it, and well i'll repay it back to u all one day. its nice to be a part of your life. to Goose, haha i know u never forget me but that one "who are u" TSK TSK!! to michelle!! u're WAY COOL!! i really think u're damn damn damn damn damn e best haha .. never had tt much fun talking online to anyone. i promise i'll meet the deadline and u'll see a nice photoshoped image haha.... i love ur fringe! pity most of these people dun read my blog....or even to joce, thanks for being concerned and taking initiative to ask how i am and offer prayers. really encouraging..... to emmy too who is always there for me when i need her =) to amelia who is my confidante in almost eveyrthing tt has to do with church, to deborah! happy birthday on tuesday, sso sad u not around on ur bday but... well =) really miss u, friends forever ya... .. and ya sylvia =) my dearest friend that i'll forever be around for, and that'll be forever there for me too. reynard, guess where's our gang right-encouraged to see u being more involved spiritually! and well harry, guess our friendship has finally matured after so long.
so anyway was just going through a few new things in my mind. going through each and every single person that iknow in my life... and well =) i guess... some people are just going to be more special than others. happens to every single person. people always tell me : " like its their loss..."
i wish i could say that, but still deep down perhaps its my loss as well. that if your world could be filled with just people that loved u for who u are....
anyway being sad is okay, everyone gets sad. its something if u don;t. i'm sad. i'm sadly optimistic.... look to the bright light at the end of e tunnel, it really brightens up my day.
i guess i lost a lot of friends before, but i'll never forget what they did for me as well. like dave, guess we really drifted..... i don't know why, just hope u dun turn too much to the "dark side.." , to dan too, pls become nicer.
besides my friends i guess there is life to talk about. i know how everyone gets depressed by army. its no joke just booking in every sunday.. i never enjoyed it, i guess when i went in to bmt, for me it was a step of new faith, like going in afresh, with a clean slate and how beautifully it has worked out. people know me for who i am, for themselves and well =) i know them inside out... army is all about bonding, in nature... spiritually, emotionally.... i guess after that its unit life, anmd i feel dragged down by the politics of people in my unit right now. Its so easy to tread wrongly, so easy to make the wrong step. i guess tts what happened to me... but well
pretty pleased with my attitude towards all of it..... "don't say anything bad", try to look at all of it positively, its okay if my superior punishes me, makes me clean the rat's hideout, makes me clean e entire unit, okay if he nit picks and does not want a speck of dust around. i'll just do it. i guess i do have paticen, i do have tolerance.. but i guess i'll need more.
been dealing much more in the religion debate as well.. i'm really glad to know that everytime i question my friend's religions and faith, it really ends up in something positive, then even if they do not come to know God more, i'm just kinda glad their faith in their God has increased. even like today as i went to the "little sisters of the poor" i realised i just keep wanting to ask the old folks if they prayed and encourage them to pray more... i know they're catholic, but i guess i just want people to have a God to cling to. just like i do. no matter how sad, no matter how bad life gets, there is God, there is Jesus for me. and it has given me endless unsurmountable strength and courage to carry on....
just pray for all my friends, tis is a period where everyone needs prayer... i realise including me, and just being part of this huge circle among my friends praying for each other. I'm sure many of us don't know we're praying for each other and even if we do, its working, and in spirit and in heart we're building each other up.
Anyway, kinda wondering about myself now. Whether i should continue as a CGL next year. in a way i don't feel i'm doing tt good a job, i'm being embroiled in my own emotions and feelins and getting affected by social stigmas. I always wondered what my cg people need from me, and i realise its nothing, they all have their own strengths, their own way of thiking now. and in a way i feel the same way as my sis. we simply cannot be leaders bcos of age, and of the way people think. what else can i provide to my classs? encouragement. basically all i can be is their friend, and perhaps i don't even think i'm that right now. guess zhong zheng and shuhui are really encouraging because i see them growing so much spiritually.... =) and i feel that at least in a way i'm playing a part, in their search for God. I'll still have to make a decision at the end of the year. and well... Pray first, Think next, Decide later.
Thirdly, i must try to strengthen the bonds we have in my army camp before we leave. i really do not want to lose these close friends i have made in army. really they are like my fingers. so close and a part of me already, and well =) we have shared so much,, all our problems, our insecurities.... i miss them alread just sitting her in fornt of my comp.....
Fourthly, uni...do i really wanna go there so much? what course do i wanna take? this baffles me, am i really cut out for environmental engineering? where should i go to? maybe i can give up everything for God. do his work.....
I guess next, i have to think about....status.... how people stand in society. and this has been a taling point in society.... the rich vs the poor, the gd looking vs the ugly, tall vs the short, etc.. the list just goes on. once again it boils down to the qn of "why is the world unfair? " the answer is of cos, if much is given to u, much is expected of u... can u live up to it... ? look long term, all the tressures waiting in heaven.
excerpts froma song i'm hoooked on...
Understand the things I say
Don’t turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn’t disagree
D’you see me, d’you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D’you notice, d’you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care
Unhappiness, where’s when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn’cause we were raised
To see life as a fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Ol he liked me, does anyone care
Well.. i guess i have to end off with a recap of what i've been doing in the last week.
Guess most of the days i've been doing my extras finish. Watching my superior or inchik as we call him just display his saddistic nature. The look in his eyes that show him enjoying punishing us... monday 8pm.... tuesday 8:30pm, wednesday 8:00pm... thursday was e only break.. thats when we went to little sisters of the poor to help e elderly. 6:30pm anyway. tuesyda was terible cos we lost some classified info and well we could go to jail 7years for that so we spent the entire night searching for it, and found it in e end.... guess the night ahs been short and the days long. it isn't nice when u have to dig into the rat's hideout with ur hands and try to clean the place. guess this week has given me a lot of time to myself. to my friends that really care about me.
it really encouraged me last saturday when i called my friend last minute out all e way to orchard and he came, and when the SSS people didn't forget me and was so willing to make plans for parties and all after their exams end.. =) guess i can't thank God for anything else more.. i'm feeling blessed. for every sad thing in my life, perhaps there is a happy thing as well.
sometimes though i wish for things but i never get it, simple things...
i don't see and understand all, and perhaps those mysteries out there... are needless for me to know .
1 phrase that appeared to me a lot during the week
1. " i wanna go home"
having tonnes of fun, realising i dunned people that dun really bother tt much about me. when i have those that do!! i've heard many problems in e last week, and i'm glad i'm a part of my friend's life.... there's been nothing more special in my life that sharing my life and others sharing their lives with me.
to you woo, thanks for sharing w/ me that secret, u know waht i mean i say its a secret so that it remains anonymous to what it is. to tim, thanks for treating me to dinner.. really appreciate it, and well i'll repay it back to u all one day. its nice to be a part of your life. to Goose, haha i know u never forget me but that one "who are u" TSK TSK!! to michelle!! u're WAY COOL!! i really think u're damn damn damn damn damn e best haha .. never had tt much fun talking online to anyone. i promise i'll meet the deadline and u'll see a nice photoshoped image haha.... i love ur fringe! pity most of these people dun read my blog....or even to joce, thanks for being concerned and taking initiative to ask how i am and offer prayers. really encouraging..... to emmy too who is always there for me when i need her =) to amelia who is my confidante in almost eveyrthing tt has to do with church, to deborah! happy birthday on tuesday, sso sad u not around on ur bday but... well =) really miss u, friends forever ya... .. and ya sylvia =) my dearest friend that i'll forever be around for, and that'll be forever there for me too. reynard, guess where's our gang right-encouraged to see u being more involved spiritually! and well harry, guess our friendship has finally matured after so long.
so anyway was just going through a few new things in my mind. going through each and every single person that iknow in my life... and well =) i guess... some people are just going to be more special than others. happens to every single person. people always tell me : " like its their loss..."
i wish i could say that, but still deep down perhaps its my loss as well. that if your world could be filled with just people that loved u for who u are....
anyway being sad is okay, everyone gets sad. its something if u don;t. i'm sad. i'm sadly optimistic.... look to the bright light at the end of e tunnel, it really brightens up my day.
i guess i lost a lot of friends before, but i'll never forget what they did for me as well. like dave, guess we really drifted..... i don't know why, just hope u dun turn too much to the "dark side.." , to dan too, pls become nicer.
besides my friends i guess there is life to talk about. i know how everyone gets depressed by army. its no joke just booking in every sunday.. i never enjoyed it, i guess when i went in to bmt, for me it was a step of new faith, like going in afresh, with a clean slate and how beautifully it has worked out. people know me for who i am, for themselves and well =) i know them inside out... army is all about bonding, in nature... spiritually, emotionally.... i guess after that its unit life, anmd i feel dragged down by the politics of people in my unit right now. Its so easy to tread wrongly, so easy to make the wrong step. i guess tts what happened to me... but well
pretty pleased with my attitude towards all of it..... "don't say anything bad", try to look at all of it positively, its okay if my superior punishes me, makes me clean the rat's hideout, makes me clean e entire unit, okay if he nit picks and does not want a speck of dust around. i'll just do it. i guess i do have paticen, i do have tolerance.. but i guess i'll need more.
been dealing much more in the religion debate as well.. i'm really glad to know that everytime i question my friend's religions and faith, it really ends up in something positive, then even if they do not come to know God more, i'm just kinda glad their faith in their God has increased. even like today as i went to the "little sisters of the poor" i realised i just keep wanting to ask the old folks if they prayed and encourage them to pray more... i know they're catholic, but i guess i just want people to have a God to cling to. just like i do. no matter how sad, no matter how bad life gets, there is God, there is Jesus for me. and it has given me endless unsurmountable strength and courage to carry on....
just pray for all my friends, tis is a period where everyone needs prayer... i realise including me, and just being part of this huge circle among my friends praying for each other. I'm sure many of us don't know we're praying for each other and even if we do, its working, and in spirit and in heart we're building each other up.
Anyway, kinda wondering about myself now. Whether i should continue as a CGL next year. in a way i don't feel i'm doing tt good a job, i'm being embroiled in my own emotions and feelins and getting affected by social stigmas. I always wondered what my cg people need from me, and i realise its nothing, they all have their own strengths, their own way of thiking now. and in a way i feel the same way as my sis. we simply cannot be leaders bcos of age, and of the way people think. what else can i provide to my classs? encouragement. basically all i can be is their friend, and perhaps i don't even think i'm that right now. guess zhong zheng and shuhui are really encouraging because i see them growing so much spiritually.... =) and i feel that at least in a way i'm playing a part, in their search for God. I'll still have to make a decision at the end of the year. and well... Pray first, Think next, Decide later.
Thirdly, i must try to strengthen the bonds we have in my army camp before we leave. i really do not want to lose these close friends i have made in army. really they are like my fingers. so close and a part of me already, and well =) we have shared so much,, all our problems, our insecurities.... i miss them alread just sitting her in fornt of my comp.....
Fourthly, uni...do i really wanna go there so much? what course do i wanna take? this baffles me, am i really cut out for environmental engineering? where should i go to? maybe i can give up everything for God. do his work.....
I guess next, i have to think about....status.... how people stand in society. and this has been a taling point in society.... the rich vs the poor, the gd looking vs the ugly, tall vs the short, etc.. the list just goes on. once again it boils down to the qn of "why is the world unfair? " the answer is of cos, if much is given to u, much is expected of u... can u live up to it... ? look long term, all the tressures waiting in heaven.
excerpts froma song i'm hoooked on...
Understand the things I say
Don’t turn away from me
Cause I spent half my life out there
You wouldn’t disagree
D’you see me, d’you see
Do you like me, do you like me standing there
D’you notice, d’you know
Do you see me, do you see me
Does anyone care
Unhappiness, where’s when I was young
And we didn’t give a damn’cause we were raised
To see life as a fun and take it if we can
My mother, my mother she hold me
Did she hold me, when I was out there
My father, my father, he liked me
Ol he liked me, does anyone care
Well.. i guess i have to end off with a recap of what i've been doing in the last week.
Guess most of the days i've been doing my extras finish. Watching my superior or inchik as we call him just display his saddistic nature. The look in his eyes that show him enjoying punishing us... monday 8pm.... tuesday 8:30pm, wednesday 8:00pm... thursday was e only break.. thats when we went to little sisters of the poor to help e elderly. 6:30pm anyway. tuesyda was terible cos we lost some classified info and well we could go to jail 7years for that so we spent the entire night searching for it, and found it in e end.... guess the night ahs been short and the days long. it isn't nice when u have to dig into the rat's hideout with ur hands and try to clean the place. guess this week has given me a lot of time to myself. to my friends that really care about me.
it really encouraged me last saturday when i called my friend last minute out all e way to orchard and he came, and when the SSS people didn't forget me and was so willing to make plans for parties and all after their exams end.. =) guess i can't thank God for anything else more.. i'm feeling blessed. for every sad thing in my life, perhaps there is a happy thing as well.
sometimes though i wish for things but i never get it, simple things...
i don't see and understand all, and perhaps those mysteries out there... are needless for me to know .
1 phrase that appeared to me a lot during the week
1. " i wanna go home"
posted by Matthias | 8:07 AM
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