so guess i kinda sorted out stuff

so i guess i kinda sorted out stuff... like i know what upsets me now
its like how people, how they make plans with u and it just doesn't happen for some reason or another, or like how it gets changed and u rather it the original plan....
"what if god was one of us? " would he feel the same way? of cos not... i wish i were Him sometimes, perfectly happy, perfect in every single way.
i guess 2nd thing would be like how i don't seem to matter in so many ways suddenly, like u feel like mr cellophane now. and how ur friends/classmates point out ur flaws and u're even more affected when u realise that perhaps ya ur flaws could be the things that put u in ur position on earth and how u're so hurt when people don't understand the things u've been through. and u struggle and struggle with it and nothing improves. Like when u realise how different people treat u differently and well u just wish u could just have one side of everything.
i guess well u go to join ur friends for dinner, after turning down anther one and they just ate without u, n u come and they dun offer u a seat but ask u go help them pack their food, and well...... u just be nice but u can't be nice all the time without feeling lousy about urself. and well....!! there's so many things, and well how they planned to go to ktv and like they just walk off without the original plan in mind, supposedly on decisions made when u're not around, and well.....;.. you feel sad cos it seems like u don't matter anymore and like.. well after all they haven't been talking to u very much, like not including u as a part of things now. so well don't u feel hurt, and like u tell someone ya....that u're unhappy and they just leave u alone to get happy urself, i guess its like what are friends for right.... like where's all the sharing of joy and sorrows, where's all the .... oh well.
i guess it hurts even more when people u really like and enjoyed just disappoint u while others just make u so happy... and like u wanna choose but u know u can't and u just can't leave either behind.
and well i know i have my ego, i know i have my inadequacies, well... i'm human, is suffer from all that human crap that u all go through as well. at my zest for life is really running low, my zeal is growing dim, and i really miss so many people right now........
and well...
i'm going for 1st service today, hopefully my expected company turns up.
wonder who anonymous is. cos i really don't understand what he/she means over there.
i look back at all e memories... and just being nice is so hard.
really nice guys finish last...
but who cares man.