the bbq plus chalet was fun... though i kinda missed everyone when they left...
denise's birthday celebration was fun too... i think denise really rocks... i'm really proud that she's my KC. really feel that she understands a lot... and knows how to relate to people.. i'm so glad i'm getting to know her nd yun cai better...
somtimes, i really feel i'm drifting from everyone, or that there's no advancement in friendships or relationships... and it really bites... like coming to a stop, or even having to do a U-turn...
w/ group 2 perhaps i feel a little that way... hmmm... i really think i have yet to connect with so many people on a deeper level.. sometimes i wonder could it be because of the way i do things. that perhaps i want to be close, yet i keep my distance because i'm afraid of getting hurt.
i really aren't very sure. but either way.. its justl a thought =) and i'm really looking forward to meeting again soon... like how we did last night, watching the stars, feeling the breeze, taking in the waves.... and drawing on the sand... and singing in the night sky...
yet to say, i realise how much i miss this blog as a refuge for all my thoughts.. i think a lot, yet i say perhaps less than 10% of all of it... i miss the dustbin for all my frustrations, for all my sorrows, and even as a tool to tell all the world of how happy i am sometimes. i grow attached.. and i already am... so attached.
VCF camp started BADly. really really badly. my group was terrible.. the girls stuck to themselves (that was expected), there was one guy and he only said one word, and he looked more into his own world than anything else. and the councillors (ogls and such) all were too concerned talking to the girls, or talking amongst each other....and i just sighed and so wanted to leave......
but... in the end i joined Sarah and JJ's group.. and i really starting to experience how much more fun it is, how much more friendly it can be.. how united we can all be... i'm so happy i decided to change group... i know its mean... Kumu (my new group leader) told me i could leave if i really wanted to... and i'm really thankful to God that he showed me a way out, a way to continue making the most out of the camp, to have a meaningful experience all the same.
And perhaps... its also because of how i brought JJ to the camp, that i had to stay on and bring him through it... that perhaps through all this, he might learn and grow so much more, and he is.. and i am so happy, for him... its been a roller-coaster of up and down feelings.
keep me there, don't let me go, and i'll hold u close.
denise's birthday celebration was fun too... i think denise really rocks... i'm really proud that she's my KC. really feel that she understands a lot... and knows how to relate to people.. i'm so glad i'm getting to know her nd yun cai better...
somtimes, i really feel i'm drifting from everyone, or that there's no advancement in friendships or relationships... and it really bites... like coming to a stop, or even having to do a U-turn...
w/ group 2 perhaps i feel a little that way... hmmm... i really think i have yet to connect with so many people on a deeper level.. sometimes i wonder could it be because of the way i do things. that perhaps i want to be close, yet i keep my distance because i'm afraid of getting hurt.
i really aren't very sure. but either way.. its justl a thought =) and i'm really looking forward to meeting again soon... like how we did last night, watching the stars, feeling the breeze, taking in the waves.... and drawing on the sand... and singing in the night sky...
yet to say, i realise how much i miss this blog as a refuge for all my thoughts.. i think a lot, yet i say perhaps less than 10% of all of it... i miss the dustbin for all my frustrations, for all my sorrows, and even as a tool to tell all the world of how happy i am sometimes. i grow attached.. and i already am... so attached.
VCF camp started BADly. really really badly. my group was terrible.. the girls stuck to themselves (that was expected), there was one guy and he only said one word, and he looked more into his own world than anything else. and the councillors (ogls and such) all were too concerned talking to the girls, or talking amongst each other....and i just sighed and so wanted to leave......
but... in the end i joined Sarah and JJ's group.. and i really starting to experience how much more fun it is, how much more friendly it can be.. how united we can all be... i'm so happy i decided to change group... i know its mean... Kumu (my new group leader) told me i could leave if i really wanted to... and i'm really thankful to God that he showed me a way out, a way to continue making the most out of the camp, to have a meaningful experience all the same.
And perhaps... its also because of how i brought JJ to the camp, that i had to stay on and bring him through it... that perhaps through all this, he might learn and grow so much more, and he is.. and i am so happy, for him... its been a roller-coaster of up and down feelings.
keep me there, don't let me go, and i'll hold u close.
posted by Matthias | 4:48 AM
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