unitedd... stay united....

i'm really very happy with a lot of things now
there seems to be so much to look forward to, and everything seems so wonderful...
seems like everything is going to work out well...
and sometimes i really wonder why this is so...
this exact thought came to me about 6 years back... and it doesn't differ at all.
why is it i'm happier outside of my youth group, than inside it?
6 years back, in SSS.... right now in YAG.
perhaps in army... i really struggled, when u seem to lose so many friends... you'll get disheartened.
but once u're back in the groove of your studies, in uni...
everything seems to return.... friends, fun, people, all the happenings.
so perhaps it goes to say that God is always there when u're at your lowest...
i guess i'm not really a pessimistic/cynical person at heart.. but perhaps life has taken its toll on me.. and as things seem to brighten up, i'm learning to look at everything with more optimism.
YAG is draining me terribly...
like they don't understand its time to let me walk my own path again, set me free from it... let me fly away...
just as with SSS, i've grown much more when i left it 6 years back...
and i've grown so much more since then.
its time to set me free, let me go! i'll just suffer inside...

sometimes, i sit here.. and just think... just wonder.. why is it that grass is always greener on the other side? why is it that the grass where i'm at never stays green...
could it be me? my personality?
or could it be the plan God has for me.. forever to be nomadic.. and move on all the time.
while leaving YAG is the route i believe i'm meant to go...
its definitely not leaving BFEC. bfec... =) there's so many wonderful sparks inside it.....
stay united as a church.... stay united...