its amazing how our faith builds up.

its amazing how our faith builds up over the years...
how we're given gifts, not just by what we're born with, but through experiences as well.
i feel happy right now.. really happy =)
that my friends would actually talk to me, and ask me questions about religions, about our faith, about living life. i've always wondered if i portrayed that image of being a christian in school, in army and such...
i think i've grown much more into a christian over the last few years...
and everything seems to go so fast.
i've made many mistakes, i've spewed vulgarities, got really angry, got really malicious with words... but thats all past now, and i'm glad i'm actually growing into a nicer person.
but yet as i grow more into a christian, i become more and more of an introvert...
i become happy to be alone, happy to be away from everyone...
its so hard to strike a balance between living that christian life/and living that life with people.
oh.. how easy it is to do wrong.....
how easy it is to succumb to that one vulgarity with everyone says it
how easy it is to judge someone when people complain
how easy it is to say something bad about somebody when u're talking
how easy it is to lose control....

perhaps its so much easier being a christian alone...
just like being a monk... u meditate to find that inner peace.... only alone can you find it.

i'm happy for everyone right now.. seeing how they're really happy...
and i'm really happy for myself as well, as i enjoy more things in my life....
but... sometimes u wish, we all could have good, pure, harmless, happy fun together.
how often does tt come about?