nightmares

yesterday i had a nightmare.. and i woke up shouting
"dad, help me.. help me!! pls help me...! "
and i heard myself...
it all started on my bed.. .i fell alseep...
suddenly my brother woke me up, without saying a thing, he motioned me to go to the living room... he looked "dead, zombified"
i was scared... so i continued lying clutching my handphone....
the only 2 people around were me and him...
and i sat there... he didn't come back
when i finally went out of the room, i saw everything in my living room turned the other way round. its like how u know the satan's symbol is the inverted star... and the inverted 999.
and all i could hear was my brother saying, "give me your handphone"
and i would just shake my head in fear....
and thats all he could say.... (and inside me i knew that if i gave him my hp, that'd be the end of me) - the doors were locked, my parents were out, and we were in the middle of the night, and something felt so wrong-
and i just said.. "dad, help me, please help me" ....

and i don't remember so many details... and it was one of the most horrifying experiences of my life... this is definitely a spiritual attack... and in a way, my dad saved me in the morning when he walked to my room, and suddenly i felt myself snap out of my sleep..

how strong can i be without u, O God.

today uncle IVan brought me and Evelyn to eat the best claypot i've ever eaten. and i ate so much, and the best tao hui... and he told us the story of how he met aunty Constance, his wife at a church camp. how it blossomed. and it struck me when he said.. the one u always want, u never get. and the one u never want, u always get. and up till this day, i think he still wonders why. yet... he's a nice guy.. a really good person at heart. and i salute u. with all the army spirit within me...