i think ,

i think, i ponder, and i secretly wish..
of what is not, and what is not to be.
today. i really had an amazing time in praying with xinyi.
its been a while since i've had an accountability partner...
and just sitting there, i was waiting to see who God would choose for me.
and... well.. something rolled back the time for that short little while.
and for a while, a little memory and picture of what was showed up.
i could feel everything just pour out of me... while a certain part of me keep some things inside.
the gist of everything wrong for me i showed to her; abstractly, if only she realises it.
and finally i feel such ease.
prayer worked wonders. and i think a little bit of her spiritual life rubbed off me today and i sensed a little bit of magic. when magic happens, its God working a miracle. i prayed my heart out today. and i realised how much i've missed a prayer like that. its a re-energisation... it is. thank u god. u answered my prayers in such gd timing. i can't ask for more. and perhaps a little bit of sparkle is back.
do i feel at home... comfort... shelter. refuge. tower.
apparently i don't care enough anymore... i could care more.. esp about u.

i really think i lack EQ. has someone pointed out to me how popular some of you are.
and popularity takes the shine off you... and i wish some things were back the way it were.
how can my home be a home if it doesn't last.

how broken can brokenness feel... when it shatters after it falls .