hi!~

hi.... against contrary belief, i'm not as sad as i sound...
perhaps its e way i write, perhaps its the way i look at certain things.
perhaps its how i just dream of perfection, dream of everything improving.
maybe its how i'm jaded at the world.
but... thats just a portion of me. another side smiles all the time.
another side sees all e joy and happinness that surrounds me.
but when u experience such great joy, u really have such high expectations for everything else.
thus my problem.
i've been most commonly described as a happy-go-lucky person... by people who just know me.
so hence. do not be misled and fooled by my writings.
i smile. tonnes

on another note.
Deb is down with Chicken Pox. so many connotations there. but. well... it definitely has a whole load of meaning. just pray to God... =) cos it is his great plan.

Predestination only applies to us, not to God. to God. everything is predestined, destined, and postdestined if you realise what i mean. to him, everything is going to happen, happening and has happened. thus the infinity of him.

JC vs Poly debate.
u know something.... u can't judge people. but i would agree if you say going by the poly route. u do lose out on something that u get from JC. credentials in this stereotypical world. yet there are many other factors and it is not the major reason to one succeeding of failing. E.g. if ur employer thought like "redpony", or if he was "redpony" u realise what would happen. and he is definitely not alone in his stand that he takes. And that happens everywhere. a simple way to put it, would be that, a JC student has succeeded succesfully in his own right. (academically) Then again. No Stereotypes. we are all born with our own gifts and virtues.

which brings me to people. Looking good is a gift. Seems to matter so much to so many people.

Then again on another note : Man Utd 2 Arsenal 0 (i support neither)
Excellence. Don't you wish u were one of those superstars.

i miss something. i miss the joy i had from interact. and just talking to this girl called Jean in my church helped me realise that. When o when will i be able to return to that...

After saying so much about leaving. u wonder if you will really leave at all. while your heart calls u elsewhere, it is also unlike me to leave people behind. what is me then?

i'm looking at my msn list.
counting how many people i actually want to talk to.
people fall into categories
e.g. people i don't want to message first cos they will message me first if they really want to talk which is rare; because i don't think they really do, people that i'll message because they have always been nice and initiated conversations, people that i'll message because i enjoy talking to them tonnes and i think they enjoy talking to me, people i don't really know that well, people that i would message but they tend not to respond much, people that are always busy, people that are away in some way or another but are around on msn, people i don't really like, and people i don't really want to disturb. that is just like the real world. i think i'm a little more friendly there though.

can't everything be a dream? because i rather sleep...
i have an affinity for dreamers..... they are special in their longing and hope for something out of this world...
heaven for me.