a dying curiousity...

k this entry shall have nothing to do with e title...
perhaps just a few more thoughts.
like now i'm waiting for tai vie to drive.. note the word drive, i wondering what car he drives, so happy for him, finally! well ya... drive to my house anywya, then we go holland v and hang out with emerald, been a while since i caught up with them
it'd be good...
so many things happening, coming, hitting me fast and hard.
people are opening up to me about things, but i always wonder...why
i know i can keep e secret, but i always wonder why.. what am i to them?
like why do they tell me stuff like that
i appreciate it.... =) i'll listen
i wish i had myself as a friend really, that would listen to all my little unhappiness, my little perks in life and all...
Been reading through people's blogs lately anyway....
and it has given me a lot of thoughts
like how different people think, and how different situations are in their lives
i believe, even though this is a blog, well ur emotions and intentions can all be seen clearly in it....
really u can't hide anything...
if u're fickle it shows, if u're emotional it shows, etc. etc etc..... but its a gd outlet for anyone
but yet the way people think are different from the way people are
and i'm still really struggling to cope with that inconsistency around.
today
i slept almost e entire day, and i wonder why. am i that tired? i don't think so
perphaps i'm getting exhausted by thinking again what to do with my life...
it comes so often now that u're in army. and its something different that only strikes people when they reach a certain juncture in their life.... like u can see when that happens, when life starts to get serious for them, and well... thats maturity i guess...
nothing for me is a game anymore
u can't joke around without thinking what consequences ur jokes might bring, u can't say things without thinking whether someone might get affected... u can't do things which might stumble others...
thats what growing up is all about... perhaps u might understand certain concepts in life, but.. this is real.... esp if u really take life and all seriously.
but some people will never grow up.. and even to this day, u'll see some of them around.
i was just thinking to myself...
well
thoughts invade my head all so often, and perhaps i think too much, tt i agree
and for me, processing all these thoughts have become a challenge that stresses me out so much each time i try to deal with them...
its a gd thing i try to say i'm pretty focused on things that are important now...
and well...
things that are important to life, to others, to God.
gone are the things of e world....
as i see the spiritual realm... that can't be seen
as i perceive heaven its all its splendour.
and perhaps there's so much more to look forward to in his plan for me
esp after death...

but we live to love, and love to live.
and thats the greatest thing that God has given us.

i find myself closing up myself to people around me....

perhaps after all that happened.

i've changed yet again...

yet i know what God wants from me

and i can't change

i'll be me.
(look at my life, and i hope it'll be a testimony to his name.... i shan't hide nothing)