perhaps i do have to blog today... as my thought patterns stress me out, and as it whirls in circles.
i must wonder, and truly wonder if i am happy.
and i must ask myself.. what if i'm not? what then?

i'm feeling a little off colour right now.
a little wrong, and i don't know why....

that vunerability strikes me hard.. and i don't know how to fend it off.
how can i explain why i did something? i wonder if all of you would understand
or would u look at me and never understand me...
that it was perhaps, the most irrational thing to do.
and i can't deny that.

how long can i remain in a state such as this....
feeling all cooped up in my own world.
i rather not keep anything inside... but there doesn't seem to be an open door.
and i have to wait, and let it slowly seep through the crevices, and cracks in e wall.

and here u see a glimpse of the emotional, the struggling side of me...
the side with all my weaknesses, and e scars from my previous falls.
i can't keep up that smile all the time...
because i just can't... as e corners of my mouth struggles to prop itself up...
i'd have to say, i might just let it go.

i feel that... i can't really walk on much further.
with such pride and such poise... because little by little... that dream of mine is breaking apart...

and it is a jumble of thoughts, with no particular direction, or particular order.
its random... but yet it might speak volumes of whats inside.